I dated Siamese twins

I slept with Bigfoot, too

Get me on Sally Jesse

Put me on Donahue

'Cause I wanna tell the world about it

Right Now



My dog's a narcoleptic

My mom's a circus freak

I gotta get a spot on

Geraldo's show this week

'Cause I wanna tell the world about it

Right Now



I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict

Stripper born without a chin

And I'm only comfortable talking about it

When the whole wide world is listening in



Talk Soup... Talk Soup

Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me



My wife ran off with Elvis

My boss shaved off my hair

I've got a thing for poodles

And rubber underwear

And I wanna tell the world about it

Right Now



I had a close encounter

I never chew my food

I got eleven nose jobs

I yodel in the nude

And I wanna tell the world about it

Right Now



I'm just a cross-dressin' alcoholic neo-Nazi

Porno star, as you may have guessed

And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better

If you let me get this thing off my chest



Talk Soup... Talk Soup

Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me



I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac

Albino go-go dancer, you see

Nothin' so bad that I can't share it

With a billion friends on national TV, whoa...



I have no genitalia

I sold my kids for cheese

I love my blow up doll, so

Bring out those cameras, please

'Cause I wanna tell the world about it

Right Now



Talk Soup... Talk Soup

Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me



Talk Soup... Talk Soup

Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me



Talk Soup... Talk Soup

Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me



Talk Soup... Talk Soup

Listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me, (listen to me) listen to me