Wanna hear something? You know that Indians never ate

clams. They didn't have linguini! And so what happened

was that clams was allowed to grow unmolested in the

coastal waters of America for millions of years. And

they got big, and I ain't talking about clams in

general, I'm talking about each clam! I mean each one

was a couple of million years old or older. So imagine

they could have got bigger than this whole room. And

when they get that big, God gives them little feet so

that they could walk around easier. And when they get

feet, they get dangerous. I'm talking about real

dangerous. I ain't talking about sitting under the

water waiting for you. I'm talking about coming after

you.



Imagine being on one of them boats coming over to

discover America, like Columbus or something, standing

there at night on watch, everyone else is either drunk

or asleep. And you're watching for America and the

boat's going up and down. And you don't like it anyhow.

But you gotta stand there and watch, for what. Only he

knows, and he ain't watching. You hear the waves

lapping against the side of the ship. The moon is

going behind the clouds. You hear the pitter patter of

little footprints on deck. IS THAT YOU KIDS? IT AIN'T.

MY GOD. IT'S THIS HUMUNGUS GIANT CLAM!



Imagine those little feet coming on deck. A clam twice

the size of the ship. Feet first. You're standing

there shivering with fear, you grab one of these. This

is a belaying pin. They used to have these stuck in

the holes all around the ship ..you probably didn't

know what this is for; you probably had an idea, but

you were wrong. They used to have the